So, it’s a beautiful Saturday morning and it’s time for me to wake up and get started with my day. I had an 11:15am appointment with my psychologist, and I was actually looking forward to it. I know there are some out there that either don’t buy in to the whole idea of a psychiatrist or they just don’t think they would enjoy it, but I actually do. Granted, I’ve only gone twice so far…but each time I’ve left feeling much better than I did when I was walking in to the appointment.
I was ready to go…all except for the fact that I did not know the address of where I was going. No problem though. I thought I would just make sure to leave plenty early enough so I could drive around and find the place. See, I just recently bought a brand new car so driving is not really an issue to me. I love doing it…especially in my new car. So I’m driving…and I’m driving…and I’m driving. Basically getting nowhere. I thought for sure that I would remember where I was going but yeah, I didn’t. Then, as I’m driving I remember that I had forgotten to take my Focalin. Not good. So now I’m getting nervous about the fact that I didn’t take my meds, I’m getting frustrated that I’m not finding the place and even more irritated at the fact that this all could’ve been avoided had I taken a card on my first visit.
This is all just another daily happening when dealing with ADHD. I thought for sure that I would remember where the office was, so I didn’t write down the address or take a card (procrastination). I then decided to place blame on the office staff because they should’ve called me to ensure that I was still going to make it in for the appointment (total avoidance).
Granted, I finally did find the place and although I was a bit flustered in the beginning, I explained all of this to my therapist and everything was fine. I’m learning more and more each day on how to not only get by with ADHD but ultimately live with and overcome many of the difficulties that I had been handling daily. So, that being said, I’m also trying to make sure to write in this blog so I can hear from others to see what troubles they deal with when it comes to living with ADHD.
My name is Jayne, although I go by Sparkles, and after much consideration (and procrastination) I'm finally starting my ADHD blog. I would've started sooner but one of the stigmas of ADHD is the art of procrastination. That being said, please do not look for this to be updated on a daily basis. I do have a goal of at least one entry per week, but it's just that, a goal, and I am going to work at it.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
My frustrations with ADHD
Today I think I'll write about one of my many frustrations with living with ADHD.
I'm worth more than people think I am. I realize I have a lot of making up to do, considering how late I was in getting diagnosed but now that I've realized my true potential, it's my goal to make others...especially those I work with...see that I've got what it takes. See, I was only recenlty diagnosed and I'm 31 but I still find it very frustrating when people don't see my worth. let's take my job for example. in the beginning I was doing very well then around the six month mark things started to go from bad to worse. I was getting used to that considering my past employment history but I decided to take charge. iwent to the doctor and with his help, I've really done much better...but try explaining that to some people.
I've been at my job for one year and one month now, I hold a master's degree and I'm sitting at the lowest spot on the proverbial totem poll. Now that I see how far I've come, I've made it a goal for others to see that as well. This, is not an easy task. Sure, I still mess up some times but I chalk that up to being human. I feel like I go in each day giving around 110% but feel that the people that need to notice...well, they don't because they are used to the old Jayne that was a disorganized mess. Not sure how to change this but feel that if I keep posting on here that maybe...just maybe someone will read this and have some tips and tricks that can help me out.
I'm worth more than people think I am. I realize I have a lot of making up to do, considering how late I was in getting diagnosed but now that I've realized my true potential, it's my goal to make others...especially those I work with...see that I've got what it takes. See, I was only recenlty diagnosed and I'm 31 but I still find it very frustrating when people don't see my worth. let's take my job for example. in the beginning I was doing very well then around the six month mark things started to go from bad to worse. I was getting used to that considering my past employment history but I decided to take charge. iwent to the doctor and with his help, I've really done much better...but try explaining that to some people.
I've been at my job for one year and one month now, I hold a master's degree and I'm sitting at the lowest spot on the proverbial totem poll. Now that I see how far I've come, I've made it a goal for others to see that as well. This, is not an easy task. Sure, I still mess up some times but I chalk that up to being human. I feel like I go in each day giving around 110% but feel that the people that need to notice...well, they don't because they are used to the old Jayne that was a disorganized mess. Not sure how to change this but feel that if I keep posting on here that maybe...just maybe someone will read this and have some tips and tricks that can help me out.
Friday, January 13, 2012
What? A second post? No way!
So, I've been taking my meds for about 9 months now. I started off with 5mg of Ritalin 3 times per day. I realized soon after that I should be taking 10mg and after talking with my psychiatrist, I increased my dosage. Then on a visit about three months ago, he changed me over to Focalin - an extended release version of ritalin. Although I don't get the immediate burst that I do from Ritalin, Dr. Braun definitely knew what he was doing.
here's how I konw my medicaion is working. Yesterday I was driving in to work when I realized I had not taken my mornind dose. Waht's worse is that I left it at home. it's usually in my purse but I had cleanded my purse out and forgotten to put them back in.
I drove in to work a bit nervous on how the day was going to go but I didn't think it could go that wrong. boy was I wrong! During our weekly meeting I was on edge and spouted off to a co-worker that I would normally never disrespect as I have a ton of respect for him. He's one of the best people there...but then again, that's not an easy thing for me to say because I value each person that I work with in my department. Wroking is an easy place to go into when you work with intelligent, hard working and just all around great people.
But, as I normally do, I digress...so back on topic!
So, I made it till around 10:45am when I finally got up the nerve and asked to leave. I explained that I had forgotten to take my meds and I needed to run home to get them. I ran home, took the meds, came back and the day went much smoother. I will admit that I was quite exhausted, but that was due to the stress that I put myself through that morning. But that day was the wake up call that I needed that not only were the meds working but I had done the right thing in finally going to get tested.
here's how I konw my medicaion is working. Yesterday I was driving in to work when I realized I had not taken my mornind dose. Waht's worse is that I left it at home. it's usually in my purse but I had cleanded my purse out and forgotten to put them back in.
I drove in to work a bit nervous on how the day was going to go but I didn't think it could go that wrong. boy was I wrong! During our weekly meeting I was on edge and spouted off to a co-worker that I would normally never disrespect as I have a ton of respect for him. He's one of the best people there...but then again, that's not an easy thing for me to say because I value each person that I work with in my department. Wroking is an easy place to go into when you work with intelligent, hard working and just all around great people.
But, as I normally do, I digress...so back on topic!
So, I made it till around 10:45am when I finally got up the nerve and asked to leave. I explained that I had forgotten to take my meds and I needed to run home to get them. I ran home, took the meds, came back and the day went much smoother. I will admit that I was quite exhausted, but that was due to the stress that I put myself through that morning. But that day was the wake up call that I needed that not only were the meds working but I had done the right thing in finally going to get tested.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
A little bit about me...
I guess I'm just going to jump right in.
I was diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder almost one year ago. I finally decided to get tested after jumping from relationship to relationship and job to job. I had talked with my mom about my concerns (she and I are incredibly close) and she had wanted to talk to me about that as well but she was afraid of upsetting me. See, I have a temper and a short fuse. Say the wrong thing and you're toast!
So, I went to see a psychiatrist that a great friend had highly recommended and things went very well. But before I get into my appointment, I would like to go even further back to explain the signs I was noticing.
Employment
I've lived in South Florida since 2003. I was a teacher from 2004-2006...then I moved to marketing. I was at my first marketing job, Hostway, for about nine months before getting laid off. from there I moved to Neptune Society where I lasted about three months before making my exit. Then came Morevisibilit. I disliked that job from the first day of employment and was gone before the 90 days was up.
There were two or three other jobs fore I finally landed where I am now...Mednax. Now, not every day is sunshine and diasies, but since being here I've really learned that I'm good at what I do. no, I'm damn good at what I do. It wasn't the job that made me realize that though, it was my psychiatrist and Ritalin.
Relationships
Another characteristic of ADHD is not being able to hold down a long term relationship. All signs pointed to ADHD on this one. I thought dating for a month or so was long-term. Don't get me wrong. I did finally find an amazing guy and we were together for almost a year but it too, came to an end. He would claim I wasn't listening to him or paying attentino. The problem was, i was trying to but just couldn't. Recalling dates was incredibly tough and I knwo it came off as if I just didn't care. I c an honestly say that my one regret, if you would call it that, is wishing I had gotten tested sooner.
My Psychiatrist
Now that you know about my past, I will quickly bring you up to speed. iwent to my first appointment with Dr. Braun and I was scared. I didn't know what to expect but after being chastised, made fun of and frustrated the way I have, I knew I had nothing to lose.
I was correct. The testing went well and then it was on to the experimental phase (as I like to call it). I was put on 5mg of Ritalin 3x per day. From day one of taking my meds I noticed a huge difference. I was understanding and more importantly, recalling, my work. I was doing much better and my boss even told me she was seeing the difference. That in itself was huge because still to this day I'm completely convinced that my boss doesn't like me and although I've learned that I don't need her to, I do wish that she did because she's an intelligent person that I could learn a lot from.
At home, I was getting chores finished rather than stopping half way through. With my friends I was holding better conversations...meaning I was staying with the conversations.
it hasn't all been perfect since starting the meds but just knowing that there was a problem and working to change things (notice I didn't say solve - as it's a daily struggle) has really changed me.
So, stay tuned as I have a lot to share. i am hoping to make this blog my way of helping those out there that are facing similar struggles. I realize that ADHD is not the end of the world but to a person living with it...sometimes it can feel that way.
I was diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder almost one year ago. I finally decided to get tested after jumping from relationship to relationship and job to job. I had talked with my mom about my concerns (she and I are incredibly close) and she had wanted to talk to me about that as well but she was afraid of upsetting me. See, I have a temper and a short fuse. Say the wrong thing and you're toast!
So, I went to see a psychiatrist that a great friend had highly recommended and things went very well. But before I get into my appointment, I would like to go even further back to explain the signs I was noticing.
Employment
I've lived in South Florida since 2003. I was a teacher from 2004-2006...then I moved to marketing. I was at my first marketing job, Hostway, for about nine months before getting laid off. from there I moved to Neptune Society where I lasted about three months before making my exit. Then came Morevisibilit. I disliked that job from the first day of employment and was gone before the 90 days was up.
There were two or three other jobs fore I finally landed where I am now...Mednax. Now, not every day is sunshine and diasies, but since being here I've really learned that I'm good at what I do. no, I'm damn good at what I do. It wasn't the job that made me realize that though, it was my psychiatrist and Ritalin.
Relationships
Another characteristic of ADHD is not being able to hold down a long term relationship. All signs pointed to ADHD on this one. I thought dating for a month or so was long-term. Don't get me wrong. I did finally find an amazing guy and we were together for almost a year but it too, came to an end. He would claim I wasn't listening to him or paying attentino. The problem was, i was trying to but just couldn't. Recalling dates was incredibly tough and I knwo it came off as if I just didn't care. I c an honestly say that my one regret, if you would call it that, is wishing I had gotten tested sooner.
My Psychiatrist
Now that you know about my past, I will quickly bring you up to speed. iwent to my first appointment with Dr. Braun and I was scared. I didn't know what to expect but after being chastised, made fun of and frustrated the way I have, I knew I had nothing to lose.
I was correct. The testing went well and then it was on to the experimental phase (as I like to call it). I was put on 5mg of Ritalin 3x per day. From day one of taking my meds I noticed a huge difference. I was understanding and more importantly, recalling, my work. I was doing much better and my boss even told me she was seeing the difference. That in itself was huge because still to this day I'm completely convinced that my boss doesn't like me and although I've learned that I don't need her to, I do wish that she did because she's an intelligent person that I could learn a lot from.
At home, I was getting chores finished rather than stopping half way through. With my friends I was holding better conversations...meaning I was staying with the conversations.
it hasn't all been perfect since starting the meds but just knowing that there was a problem and working to change things (notice I didn't say solve - as it's a daily struggle) has really changed me.
So, stay tuned as I have a lot to share. i am hoping to make this blog my way of helping those out there that are facing similar struggles. I realize that ADHD is not the end of the world but to a person living with it...sometimes it can feel that way.
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